He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
