god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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