"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
