You can't motorboat a personality
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
