Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
