His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
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I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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