Your dad touched me again.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
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