Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
