before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
