You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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