Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize