No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
