Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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