Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize