You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
