Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
