im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I forgot wine drunk hurts
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
