Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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