:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..