i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You Will Never Meet Anyone More Annoying Than These 23 People
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY