So drunk, too bad you don't want this
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
where are you?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router