1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
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I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.