Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."

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  (901): i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight." http://tfl.nu/7ug8
  Replies (29) Good night (4256) Bad night (903)
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  (416): View more from Ontario

  is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??

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  (416): is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered?? http://tfl.nu/9big
  Replies (26) Good night (5333) Bad night (737)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.

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  (512): stuffed animals make me feel really maternal. http://tfl.nu/jnap
  Replies (3) Good night (1030) Bad night (2254)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"

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  (614): you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers" http://tfl.nu/unf8
  Replies (13) Good night (4626) Bad night (730)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.

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  (615): As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge. http://tfl.nu/pca6
  Replies (5) Good night (2409) Bad night (747)
• Favorite

  (571): View more from Virginia

  Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.

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  (571): Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was. http://tfl.nu/tmsm
  Replies (12) Good night (3211) Bad night (1512)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride

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  (973): Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride http://tfl.nu/vufa
  Replies (23) Good night (5180) Bad night (1298)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.

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  (267): He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man. http://tfl.nu/v6o1
  Replies (9) Good night (2989) Bad night (991)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"

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  (724): oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis" http://tfl.nu/2s94
  Replies (10) Good night (1221) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.

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  (609): she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka. http://tfl.nu/jihr
  Replies (2) Good night (1017) Bad night (496)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad

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  (979): my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad http://tfl.nu/r26e
  Replies (10) Good night (483) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I will make you one.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it

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  (417): I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal. (417): I will make you one. (417): Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it http://tfl.nu/hpb9
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (719)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"

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  (217): what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?" http://tfl.nu/sbqo
  Replies (9) Good night (668) Bad night (1072)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this

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  (971): I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this http://tfl.nu/ssq4
  Replies (4) Good night (373) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us

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  (404): I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us http://tfl.nu/m7ov
  Replies (0) Good night (345) Bad night (159)

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