3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
That was an excessively violent trivia night
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape