So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
pray to the hookup gods
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My liver is preforming stress tests.