i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He uses pillows to masturbate.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
