Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (703): She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper http://tfl.nu/dnfr
  Replies (30) Good night (5593) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (417): Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted? http://tfl.nu/v1i6
  Replies (11) Good night (1529) Bad night (3143)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420 http://tfl.nu/8lzk
  Replies (27) Good night (6767) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't http://tfl.nu/i8hu
  Replies (29) Good night (6132) Bad night (1277)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (815): No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real. http://tfl.nu/57ae
  Replies (5) Good night (829) Bad night (2361)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (407): At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER http://tfl.nu/tf88
  Replies (4) Good night (2634) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  He had a curved dick....must be a european thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): He had a curved dick....must be a european thing http://tfl.nu/mrr2
  Replies (19) Good night (1315) Bad night (2401)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower. http://tfl.nu/ss7c
  Replies (5) Good night (2206) Bad night (696)
• Favorite

  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (857): I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test! http://tfl.nu/oysi
  Replies (7) Good night (881) Bad night (3282)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/hkf6
  Replies (6) Good night (1571) Bad night (985)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."

  (323): View more from California

  If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (310): My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity." (323): If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing. http://tfl.nu/54s4
  Replies (8) Good night (2940) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL http://tfl.nu/z2bq
  Replies (7) Good night (1550) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes. http://tfl.nu/8g0z
  Replies (6) Good night (879) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....

  (1-540): View more from Virginia

  I seemed to have misplaced my pants...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (540): Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?.... (1-540): I seemed to have misplaced my pants... http://tfl.nu/s4v6
  Replies (5) Good night (1046) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (44): View more from United Kingdom

  I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (44): I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud http://tfl.nu/s93d
  Replies (8) Good night (920) Bad night (360)

Randomize