i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
