Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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