And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
