I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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