You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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