Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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