things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
