I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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