I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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