My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
