I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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