She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
