Yo dont text me then not text me
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
