It's just like the Real World with babies
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
we're so committed to being not committed
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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