Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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