....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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