So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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