just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
