Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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