If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
