I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Panties = found
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Randomize
