You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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