I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
