The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
they're like a gay fantastic four
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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