Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize