I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize