woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize