She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
