I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
