You're so nebulous sometimes
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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