Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Randomize
