Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
