As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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