Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
