mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
