so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
