I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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