There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
